I was taken by surprise last week when the Vet told me my dog, Bruno, was 10 pounds overweight. I knew he was a little plump, but not 10 pounds. I was not happy. I felt like he was basically calling my dog a fat ass, and when he wouldn’t let up, I wanted to point out that HE was also overweight!
But I didn’t.
What I did do was step up our walks, and on those walks I have learned some things. Here are 10 of them:
1. Nothing will humble you more than scooping up and carrying around a bag of dog s**t. I don’t care how cool you think you are, it’s hard to be “The s**t” when you’re walking around carrying a bag of it.
2. Don’t rush to judgment. There’s a dog in our hood that is mean. I’m sorry, but he is. I assumed when I approached him that he’d be nice like all the other Golden Retrievers I have known, but NO, he wasn’t. Bruno has the opposite problem. Most people are scared to approach Bruno, and some have admitted that it’s because he’s big and black. Racists!!
3. Slow down. The walk I take with Bruno may be the biggest part of his day, but I’ve got s**t to do. We need to keep moving. Sometimes, though, Bruno likes to slow down and take things in. That’s how he rolls, and I am trying to do the same.
4. Fresh Air is good. (I feel like that one is pretty self explanatory.)
5. Don’t get The Lazies around The Crazies. Keep walking. There’s this one dog who barks NON-STOP when we go by. We call her Felicia. Felicia is nuts. Felicia wants Bruno to stop and hang with her so badly, but Felicia needs to work on her approach. Until then…
6. Let your freak flag fly. Bruno loves the ladies. Izzy is his love but he also has a side piece: Roxy. (We call her Foxy Roxy.) I have no doubt that the ladies know about each other because A) they can smell it on him and B) women know. But Bruno isn’t a one woman kind of guy. Bruno is a ramblin’ man and he doesn’t apologize for it.
7. The apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree. There’s this lady who walks her dogs every morning in her pajamas with a cigarette hanging out of her mouth. She never says anything to us, just yells at her dogs—and I swear on everything in this world that is holy to me that if her little yippie ass dogs were people, they would be exactly like her.
8. Just because someone can’t communicate to you they’re in pain, doesn’t mean they aren’t. Yesterday, Bruno kept stopping on our walk. I was all “Come on, Mr. 10 lbs!” until I realized that he had something caught in his paw. I felt bad. Not everyone can articulate the pain they’re in, and sometimes it’s up to us to notice the signs.
9. If some Mind F**k is messing with your head and they can’t decide if they’re in or out, decide for them. There’s this one dog who loves Bruno, but she keeps teasing him. She’ll bark for him to come near her and then when he does, she bails. She did this 3 times the other day and finally Bruno was like, Later, sister. Get back to me when you get your act together. We outtie.
10. Don’t overstay your welcome. When we visit with other dogs, we try not to hang too long or they might not want us back. Bruno likes to leave them wanting more. And so do I.
Happy Walking!
Love my dog. There is a piece of my everyday…that’s his. No one else’s. Our walks. Truth is…it’s not just me getting him out for fresh air and activity….he’s getting ME out for fresh air and exercise. HE…motivates ME!
I love hearing about other people’s connection with their dogs..thx for the share…LOVE!
Exactly. “There is a piece of my every day that is his.” Love that. Perfect. Plus my dog is my fave in my whole family, and they ALL know it! 🙂
Doggie time is the best time. Bruno lucked the eff out finding a home with the Codens, but so did the Codens!
We definitely did. I can’t imagine my life without him. He’s one of the best parts of my day. I know you get it!
Oh my gawd! So true on everything. Logan is the neighborhood stud and that’s mainly because I can’t hold him when he wants to say hi to another dog. So we know everyone. And to carrying sh*t around the neighborhood, big drawback to a big dog – they know it’s us. Luckily I have friends around the neighborhood who have mentioned a time or two that they picked up for me. I try to get it but sometimes, it’s just too gross. And with a 185# dog, well use your imagination…. 🙂 Love the stories Robyn. Love the sight!
I can only imagine walking Logan around! The stud that he is! You probably need a hefty bag for what he puts out! And I have no doubt that all the ladies and the neighbors love him. Like I said, the apple doesn’t fall from the tree. 🙂 XOXOXO Thank you for being here. Means so much to me!
I have been reading your blog for a while but had to stop and say that I loved this post. SO true that dogs are just like their owners. I had the sweetest golden until she was 14 years old. If only I was as good as she was, but my husband and I always joke that our 3 year old son inherited her personality. As a side note, my very favorite posts of yours are about camp. I was a counselor at Tanuga from 1998 – 2002, and many of my best friends and best memories come from those summers up north.
Leah! I’m so happy to hear from you! 2002 was my first summer at Tanuga. Cody and I were just newly dating so you probably don’t even remember me. I clearly loved it because here we are 16 summers later! I will start doing camp posts when summer gets closer and I hope you come back for them. I’m truly honored to have you as a reader and I love that you decided to comment today. These dogs we love, they are our children…same need for love and attention, but no talking back! I’m hoping your precious poochie passed that down to your 3 year old as well as her sweet personality, but I’m betting not. 🙂 OXOXOXOXO R
Loved this post, however I hate my dogs! One is one year old and the other is a year and a half. They are menaces to society! I can’t walk them because they pull me over. We have a big back yard and take them to the beach to run out their energy. I have spent so much money on classes and collars and harnesses to help train them. Nothing helps. They have to have a brain first and I don’t know where to buy Labrador retriever brains! They are cute and sweet and I’m just hoping they grow out of this puppy stage soon!
OK, I need to get myself together. This is definitely one of the funniest comments I have ever gotten.
That being said, puppies are a pain. They are like babies except you have to let them outside and wipe their dirty, nasty paws instead of their dirty, nasty asses. 🙂 Before Bruno, I always said that dogs are crazy until 4 years old. All of my dogs were crazy until they turned 4. I don’t know why Bruno is so good. It’s either because he came that way or because I got better at training over the years. Either way, there will be a day when it all clicks for your dogs and they become good. I promise. It might be when they’re 10, but the day will come!!! XOXOXO Thank you for being here. I always love hearing from you, Elizabeth!!
r
Do you remember when Tikkanen wrote a letter to Dakota? And then Dakota wrote a letter to me and ARPP letting us know that Tik got up there safe and sound. You know for sure that those two are walking around doggie heaven with ALL of the ladies hounding after them (pun intended).
Dogs are our kids until we have kids. Then we just have more kids. Because the dog is usually the first kid to come around. Unless you’re Gideon. Then you just suck.
a
Wow! I do remember!! I can’t even imagine the havoc they are raising up there. Just thinking about it makes me laugh. I still have the pics you took of Barney the first day I got him and I still miss Floyd every day of my life. Dogs are our kids until we have kids, but my dog is truly my third kid. He’s my little boy and I love him (and need him) so much. Just like you. XOXOX BFFL
PS. Good pun 🙂
I just got a new dog and was thinking of making a similar list. SO GREAT! I love yours and now I don’t have to write one! Well done 🙂
You got a new dog? Yay for you!! I hope it’s going well! I know it’s fun, but hard. I love that you liked my list–you found me at the perfect time! Crazy, right? I hope you subscribe or come back, Tina! Thank you for being here! XOXOXOX R