I have two daughters, Lovey and Sweet Pea. One is 4. One is 6. One is biological. One is adopted. One is “OK, mommy“…“You got it, mommy“…“I‘m a good girl, mommy!” and one is trying to kill me.
My 6 year old, Sweet Pea, is from China. Before Sweet Pea, it seemed every kid I ever saw who was from China was a sweet, mild tempered, smart child. I am telling you, EVERY KID I ever met who was from China was like that. I figured if I could get a kid like that, I could have a kid like that.
But that’s not how it works.
Don’t get me wrong. My Sweet Pea is delicious and if she’s with YOU, she’s perfect. She’s all “Um, excuse me, may I please have a napkin, I like your dress” all really sweet and nice… but when she’s with us, it’s different. The other day I walked into the kitchen and found little Lovey in a defeated heap on the floor, crying, because Sweet Pea decided she wanted the seat Lovey was in and she figured pushing her off would be the most effective way to get there. I mean….why? WHY?!?!?
…But that’s what big sisters do.
There are times, though, when Sweet Pea makes me angry, really angry, and I vow to stay angry for a while so she gets it. I’d say if Sweet Pea HAD to pick the smartest time of the day to upset Mommy, that would be morning time, on school days. The reason I say it’s the “smartest” time is because in the mornings, I don’t get a lot of time to hold onto my anger. She’s leaving for school soon and who wants to send their kid off to school with an upset mommy?
Not me.
The thing is, there are some mornings when she will do something that makes me mad, and it’s usually because she wakes up in a yucky mood. I like the mornings where she wakes up on her own. On those days, the chances of her being in a good mood are better than the days when I have to physically go in her room and wake her.
I don’t like those days.
With each step to her room, I feel the impending doom of what lies beneath her covers. It’s almost always never good. But still I try…I put on a brave face and I go in there.
Me: Good morning, love! How was your sleep? Are you excited for today? Today is going to be such a fun day!! You have art today and a good lunch and I’m going to pick you up from school, and then you’re going to have a fun playdate, and maybe she can stay for dinner… What do you think? Ok, let’s get up. Ok, honey? Let’s get up.
Sweet Pea: I’m SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO tired. I didn’t sleep AT ALL last night. (That’s a lie, she sleeps hard.) And you don’t know how much work first grade is!!! I mean we get to school and have to work ALL day and then I take the bus home and it’s like 1700 and 50 million hours and I’m SO tired. And then I have SO much homework. You don’t understand. It’s so hard. And I don’t want to get up, I don‘t LIKE getting up. I don’t LIKE school and I DON’T LIKE Eminem’s new song!”
Whoa.
Me: Listen up, Miss Thang. I don’t care about all that other stuff, but we do NOT speak ill of Eminem’s new song. Now GET UP. I mean it, NOW. Go potty and get dressed. NOW. We are going to be late and I still need to get your sister up and get her dressed and make you guys breakfast and if you don’t get up NOW I’m going to make you wear jeans (she hates jeans) for the next three days. And you know I’ll do it.
And even though she, reluctantly, gets up–things don’t usually get better from there. And what’s more, now I‘m in a mood too. Thanks, Sweet Pea! Thankfully, I have Little Lovey who is all “Good morning, mommy! I had a dream that a rainbow princess came into my room and talked to me and she was so nice and so pretty and I love you and daddy and Floydie and my sister. I love everyone!!“
But even that‘s not enough to get me back to good because Sweet Pea is still “UH-UH-UH, GRUNT GRUNT GRUNT, STOMP STOMP STOMP“ and complaining about everything and blaming random, weird stuff on her little sister who, incidentally, isn‘t even in the room– or IN THE VICINITY. It‘s all so unbelievable and exhausting and unnecessary.
I can’t believe she would make me this mad in the morning!! Why does she do that?!? I’m SO not being nice to her on the way to the bus stop!!”
Except that never happens because for some reason, no matter what has transpired that morning, no matter what it was that she did that made me so angry, so crazy–when we cross the threshold from the garage to the driveway and Sweet Pea slips her little hand in mine and reminds me to grab a “poop bag” for Floyd Coden, all is forgotten.
Clean slate.
The walk to the bus stop is only about 7 minutes from our house, but those 7 minutes are precious. It’s just me and Sweet Pea and Floyd Coden. We have 7 minutes to discuss what happened that morning that made mommy so angry (that usually lasts about 2 minutes). Then we have 1 minute for me to discuss why “Cats in the Cradle” is a hard song for mommy to hear because it reminds me of my dad, but I know she loves it, but maybe we don’t have to listen to it 20 times in a row…? and then we have 4 minutes to talk about how Sweet Pea loves Areg, but she also still loves Derek but Derek doesn’t love her (he loves Lydia) but he was throwing rocks at Sweet Pea’s bus window yesterday so I don‘t know…
Some days we quote lines from “Barbie: Life in the Dreamhouse,” or we laugh about something funny Lovey did. Lately, she has been asking about smoking so we discuss how it used to be cool when I was a kid, but now it’s just gross and stinky and nasty and so NOT COOL so DON’T EVER DO IT because it’s disgusting and no one smokes anymore. “Just Say No!” But one quick thing, honey…Mommy kind of still has one a day. You see, Mommy is grandfathered in because Mommy started smoking a million years ago and it was cool then, but now it’s not so Mommy stopped, except for one (maybe two) a day, but don’t bug her about it, and don’t ever do it because it’s gross and you’ll have yellow teeth.
We talk about how proud I am of her for having good manners when she’s not with us. (Even though it comes off kind of fake and eventually it’s going to annoy the hell out of her friends. What up, Eddie Haskell?)
But what we talk about most is how FREAKING CRAZY it is that she and I can be so different, but at the same time, so much alike. I mean for the love of G-D, the kid is from CHINA and from some other person‘s body, but in so many ways, we are exactly alike.
It is CUH-RA-ZEE. And then we laugh because it‘s so funny that we‘re so much alike….and then I cry because it‘s so NOT funny that we’re so much alike, and if she continues to be like me, my future is going to be HELL– and then I squeeze her face, give her a kiss and she gets on the bus.
And that’s it. And I miss her so much, I can’t deal.
Until 5 minutes after she gets done with school.
And then I’m convinced she’s trying to kill me again.
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Robyn!
Hi there. Other than her being Chinese and having a dog….you have just described my house! Although, my little one is getting worse!
I miss you my friend!
Patti
Hi Patti!! I’m so glad you can relate. I knew it couldn’t be just me!!! Your girls are adorable but I’m sure they’re a handful. Future AEPhi’s??? XOXOXOXO
write more write more.. all of this stuff is so very pertinent for me to know in the next 5 years.xoxoxox
You have a Bokor kid, Gina. Even I can’t help you with that!! Love and miss you…you know you have me and Abbey for everything you’ll ever need. And so does that sweet little Josephine. Love hearing from you!! XOXOXOXO!!!!!
I have to agree, even this is blasphemy in your house, I don’t like the new Eminem song either. I thought he tripped over a trashcan and recorded it .
Also, please write more, I love reading it. You are friggin hilarious.
Though*
Deb! I almost had to DELETE your comment because of what you said about the new Eminem song!! Thankfully (and truthfully) he has an even new one that I don’t love so I decided that you were talking about that song, but still…YOU BETTER STOP!
Thank you so much for weighing in. And at least I know that you liked it and it means the world to me to get some feedback. Thank you so much. 🙂
Good to see a new Dim Sum & doughnuts.Really enjoy them …having raised 4 children all I can say is ..Did you think that parents of grown children had gray hair from age?? Think about it .LOL You’re normal
Hi Ann!
Normal and you know I cover AND WILL ALWAYS COVER that gray. In fact, I don’t even get gray. Mind skip gray completely and just go right to white. What is that about? I have these little white ones that just spring up out of nowhere. I don’t like them…but I adore you and I love that you’re a reader. Thank you for coming by. You always make me smile.
Oh Rob…
She’s 6!!!! Can’t wait for the teenage years! Lolol
Get the nerve pulls on order now!
Love and miss you!!!!!
OMG, Jer….the teenage years. HELP ME. I am scared. Cody wants to install a retina and thumb print scan so we know when FJC is coming and going…HELP ME….
XOXOXOXO!!!!!
This one is so good!! And TRUE!!
Both my kids show well in public, too! I’m very grateful. because I see a lot of kids that DON’T put on a good “public show”. Trust me, all of us have different kids at home!
My motto is always: “this, too shall pass”. And it’s true, when she’s about 25!
Love to U!
You are so right, P!! I know that it’s best that they put on a good show, but every once in awhile I ask for SP to pretend that I’m one of her friend’s moms. HAHAHAHA!! I love you and I love your kids and you’re an awesome mom. Awesome!!
XOXOXO me
So, not only are you beautiful,but you are funny and talented and your blog today made me cry. I love reading your stuff and I can just hear you talking when I read it..Enjoy every crazzzzy minute of it with your kids because trust me it goes by really really fast. xoxox Monica
You’re so right. It’s going by way too fast! I realized the other day that I hadn’t written in awhile and I needed to preserve what is going on in our lives right now. It will be so much fun for the girls to read about when they are older…
I love hearing from you. You always make me smile, even though I CAN’T LOOK AT YOU!!!!!
XOXOXO r
Robyn….
So funny.Again,i dont have kids of my own,but i can only imagine that if i did i would feel the same way.You are hilarious and such a talented and joyful writer.I am so glad you are blogging again.Hope all is well with you….xx.katie
You’re so good to me, KZ. Thank you! I love that you love my kids so much. You don’t even know. I love that you’re out there because you just GET it and you can laugh at it. I love that about you, among other things. Thank you for being so good to me–to me AND my girls. The divas!!! XOXOXO
Mornings suck. Period. End of story. I go into L’s room with Oreos. I say “If you get up NOW, you can have cookies for breakfast.” I’m mom of the year. But she won’t get up. N, on the other hand, is all like Lovey. She greets the day w a smile and, “Today’s gonna be awesome! What can I learn today??
Yep. Mornings suck. Can’t wait for the teenage/hormonal years. THOSE should be really fun.
Xoxoxoxoxo
Today was one of those mornings when Miss Thang got up on her own…but on the days when she doesn’t…Oh, lord–Help me.
BRUTAL.
I think we should move back to our old apartments in Victorian Village when they hit the teen years, or they really will kill us. I’m serious. They will. They don’t care. Let’s get out of dodge, girl. I’ll bring the cream and you grab the B Pilgrim CD’s. XOXOXO
um, is there anything here about the mothers curse that may be coming true? “As god is my witness, you will have a child just like you one day?” lol
No…she can’t be as bad as me, can she?? NO!!! Please…NO…. NO NO NO!!!
Hey Robyn…I can’t tell you how abnormally happy I was to see a post from you on fb 🙂 I did the snort laugh thing reading this post…in public…
I have my 22 year old boy and for the last few months I have been looking after my 2 year old niece every Friday. I had forgotten how full on it is reining in a little person but I love it and she rocks! Her latest thing, when we have a difference of opinion, is to tell me to ‘take a chill pill’…what the?!?! Or I will ask her to do something for me and she looks me straight in the eye and tells me ‘I’m outta here’!!! I have no words. Another favourite of hers is when we are out shopping or in public anywhere and the mood takes her, she will drop it like its hot and dance in a way that beyonce would be jealous of. these little ones of ours will make us feel like our heads are going to explode one minute and the next second you look at them, they have our heart.
Hi Eddie!
In a million years I couldn’t have said it better. You are dead on, Eddie!! They can make us so crazy and then we just want to eat them. I know!
It is so great that you have a 2 year old in your life right now. It’s great for you and for her. How lucky is she to have you?? That one on one time you’re spending with her right now, that is going to solidify your relationship forever. Friday is Fun Day!!!
Meanwhile, I can’t stop picturing your little niece randomly stopping in the middle of a store to “drop it like it’s hot.” I’m dying!!!
Thank you for coming by. Your comment is awesome and it totally made my night. Ok…”I’m outta here!!” 🙂 🙂 🙂
Very funny…and real!! I remember feaaling the same as you before we adopted. My husband even said, “If we could get one like that.” Now I always say “Our son is NO poster child for adoption from China.” It’s okay though. I only post about the good stuff on social media 🙂
Hi Vicki!!
I’m so happy you enjoyed it. Thank you!!! You keep posting only the good stuff and I’ll do everything else. Deal?
Thank you for coming by. It means so much to me, you have no idea…
Thank you again!! Robyn 🙂
Hey Robyn,
Just found this on my blogroll– so glad I checked!
This is just hysterical and so true. Where *do* these kids come from? Even from one’s own uterus, sometimes you think aliens came and implanted them with some weird personality chip in the middle of the night.
We don’t have a second, sunny child to balance out our day, just a grumpy cat. 🙂 You are lucky in that regard. We have the walk to school and the walk home– those transition times away from the household goings-on — they are a respite, aren’t they? Nothing left to grump about, just time to chill out, wish them well, and miss them afterward. 🙂
Hi Hazel!
For some reason, I thought you had 2 kids. I admire you. I don’t know what I would do if I didn’t have the 2 kid balance. I guess I wouldn’t know any different, right?
You are so right about wishing them well and missing them after…every morning when Sweet Pea gets on that bus, it stings a little bit. No matter how mad I might have been just 10 minutes before, it kills me when she leaves. You are so right. As usual 🙂
XOXOXO R