Dim Sum and Doughnuts

A little SUMthing about growing up, making mistakes and happy endings.

Lose Yourself

There are random notes all over the place with post ideas for Dim Sum and Doughnuts. I could bust out a piece tomorrow on so many different topics, but this piece…this one is giving me trouble. I feel pressure.

It’s because it’s the first post of the new Dim Sum and Doughnuts site.

The new site is bad ass. It’s got all kinds of bells and whistles! I have no idea how to use it. It’s like my car—all kinds of crazy stuff, but I have no idea how to use any of it. I have enough trouble remembering which side the gas tank is on!

This new site feels the same way. I’m like a little kid in a big house, with no parents.

It was time though. I’ve been writing Dim Sum and Doughnuts for 5 years. It was originally just for friends and family, but then other people also seemed to like it, or hate it. Either way, we thought it was time to see how it performs in Cyber City.

So, here we are.

Same writer; same product—I just want to try and connect with others a little more. I want to see if people (other than my friends and family) like it. So what did I do? I asked some of my friends to invite their friends, and they did. They brought their friends here, and we are grateful. Very grateful.

And now it’s “Go Time”—time to see if Dim Sum and Doughnuts is HOT or NOT.  (And if it’s NOT, I’m sure I’ll hear about it.)

If you like the posts from Dim Sum and Doughnuts (or you know of someone who might) I hope you share. You won’t love every post. You might not even love me.

But that’s normal.

When was the last time you got a CD and liked every song? For REAL liked every song? Come on. Just because you love the artist doesn’t mean you’re going to love every song, not even Eminem.

Blogs, like Dim Sum and Doughnuts, are the same way. (Although I did have one lady who told me I could write about the phone book and she’d read it, so…you know, at least I have her.)

You don’t have to like it though. That’s what’s so great about the internet. It’s not like a class and you have to participate. You can opt out at any time.

I’d rather have a group of fun people than a bunch of Judge Judy’s anyway. Getting yelled at over the internet is not a fun way to spend the day. A few years ago, one of my posts got shared, a lot. It was very exciting, until the negative comments starting coming in.

It was an onslaught of negativity. I got blasted. I felt sad and misunderstood. I continued writing Dim Sum and Doughnuts because I want my girls to have it, but I stopped promoting it. I just wanted it to go back to being read by people who already know (and love) us. I didn’t need a bunch of people who don’t even know me yelling at me and saying horrible things. (No, thanks.)

They were idiots, yes, but they got to me. They broke my spirit. Stomping on their computer keyboards about how I should have never been allowed to adopt, shooting comments back and forth about how I’m a horrible parent.

It hurt my feelings. I started second guessing myself. I even re-wrote the piece they were complaining about—but they just moved on to a different piece and tore me apart again! “Horrible parent…her kids deserve better…” Angry, mean people behind the shields of their computers… People I didn’t know, who didn’t know me! …I had never been treated like that before. It was all so new to me. I cared what those people thought though. I cared. I didn’t know any different.

But not NO MO.

What the hell do I care what other people–especially people I don’t know–think about me? They are white noise. I know who my people are, and I know my family is well taken care of. That’s what I care about. That’s who I care about.

So, with that in mind, I’m going to take my shot. I have nothing to lose. I’m going to write what I need to write, and say what needs to be said.

I don't care note pinned on the bulletin board

There will be haters, because bitter sisters are a part of life—but that’s cool, because guess what? I can’t fail. This thing I have built, this virtual take-out box full of lessons and stories and memories and mistakes—I hope it touches lots of people, but if it doesn’t, I’m covered. I’m covered because ultimately, the two people I care about most will read it, and they are the ones it’s written for.

lose yourself 2

But if I want to reach others, I have to seize this opportunity and take my shot. So here we go, yo.

#LetsGetThisPartyStarted

…And if Eminem has any problems with me using his song as inspo for this piece, he’s welcome to come take it up with me anytime. I’m ready.

Thank you for being a part of Dim Sum and Doughnuts!

Hope to see you back here soon!

 

dimsumanddoughnuts-logo-sm

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Reader Interactions

Comments

    • PPG in the rainbow room!!! Love it!! The M’s better watch their backs! The Detroit J’s are coming for them!! 🙂

  2. The site looks incredible! I kept hitting refresh until I saw this. I am so proud of you and so happy for you. You validate my own parenting skills. I am sure that is why you are my girls’ Tusha. You’re gonna make it big, kid! BIG!

    Best of luck, and you know I got your back for any haters that come along. I’ll kick some serious Texas-sized a$$!

    Love you,
    Abb.

  4. Oh, Robyn – please don’t let haters have an effect on you. You are smart, beautiful (inside and out), funny, fun, a great mom, a fantastic wife and a charming and loyal friend. There – that’s all you need to know about you. Keep on keeping on! Love you!

    • Thank you! I’m over it. Believe me, I’m over it, it just took a bit. Thank you for the support, it means so much!! XOXOXO

  5. Beautiful! love it! And glad you’ve stuck it out thru the crap. Always enjoy your stories and humor 🙂

  7. I love your blog! I don’t have kids, but your writing style and sense of humor speaks to me. Keep writing. More people are lovers than haters!

    • Thank you, Amy!! I love hearing from you! Thank you for being here and for your loyalty. You have no idea what it means to me. XOXOXO

    • I’m just in shock that you actually commented…I truly don’t know what to do with myself. XOXOX Thank you!

    • You’re amazing. Thank you for your years of undying loyalty to DS&D and to us. You are so special, Patti. XOOXO

  12. Best of luck, it’s well deserved! I applaud your genuine and honest reflection of your struggles. Failures always come before success…looks like you’ve done it in the right order! Look out world, here comes SUCCESS!
    XOXO
    Erika

    • OK, now I’m crying. Thanks A LOT!! 🙂 🙂 I appreciate the kind words so much. (And so well said, at that!) Thank you for being here! I hope you come back! XOXO

  14. This is just the beginning …if you keep writing..I’ll keep reading!!! Mazel Tov and Tunnels! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

  18. Site looks amazballs! Love you, love the site, love the honest talk. Screw the haters! ❤️ Keep it comin or I’m going to be a bitter sister! I know where you live! ?

    • Thank you so much! You’re amazing! We are VERY lucky to have you in our corner. Don’t think we don’t know it!! #yourule XOXOX

  20. Yay! Congrats! Site looks pretty!
    Someone somewhere will always try to let their negativity rain on your parade– keep pushing through. It will be worth it. Can’t wait to read more…
    ❤️

    • I was hoping you would like it!! You have been an amazing supporter over the years and we are all so lucky to have you. Thank you for always being here and always supporting us. We love you right back–maybe even more! XOXO

  22. Dim sum here’s what I have to say (if u care. Lol) who cares about the peeps who have negative post if they were half as happy and NOT jealous of you and how funny you are then they wouldn’t take the time to say anything, just remember you have an brick of a husband, (miss you Cody)Amazing kids and your a great mom and that is all that matters so you go girl and do what you do best so we who all
    love you can laugh and smile over and over again at all your stories!!!! And Lainie will take care of the rest!!

    • Of course, I care! LF in the house! Who WOULDN’T care??? Thank you for being here and for the support. If I’m ever not up to dealing, I know you and Lainie will take care of biz for me. I’m lucky to have people like you to laugh and smile with me, but also take care of me. Love, love, love you forever.
      XOXOXO

  23. The website looks amazing! I love that you share your life (ups, downs and all the silliness) with everyone. I always love reading your blogs….one of my favorite morning rituals 🙂 xoxo

    • That makes me so happy! Thanks, Jen. I love that you are here and I hope you stick with me. Good stuff to come!! And I love that you like the site! Of all people, that means A LOT coming from you!!! XOXOXO (A LOT) 🙂 🙂 You have “the eye!”

    • Thank you so much, Demoree. It wouldn’t be what it is now if it weren’t for what you did before. Your beautiful site housed me for 5 amazing years. I love that you were a part of it and I hope you stick with me. Your little blog site is growing up!! XOXOXO

    • There he is!! I was hoping I’d hear from you! I always feel more complete when you weigh in. Idc if I hear from 1000 people, it always makes me smile when I hear from you. Thank you, Cleeeeeeeeo. You’ve been loyal since day one. We are all lucky to have you. XOXOXO

  26. NO haters in this group!!!!!!!! Don’t let anyone EVER rain on your parade!!!! You are so in tuned to what’s going on with your family and it’s refreshing to read your take on everything! You make me (and I’m sure everyone else) laugh and I try to remember similar events when my kids were little-SO SO long ago!!! Your girls will LOVE this when they are older!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don’t stop writing XOXO

    • Deenie!!! Hi Deenie!!! You’re here!! I’m so happy you are here!! Thank you for coming by! I knew you’d love the new site and post. I’m so happy that I made you proud. Your insight has been so good for me over the years. You never say “just wait…it gets worse…” You are only positive and fun and happy. You’re an inspiration to me and (I have to believe) anyone who knows you. Thank you for always being here. Your loyalty does not go unnoticed. XOXOXO

  27. Still here. Just sittin here at the home of DSAD. Perusing prior posts. Mostly laughing…but not always…cuz between the lines there are big relevant messages. Real parenting stuff. Laced with humor.
    Thinkin I want a DSAD app!
    Love U❤️

    • A DSAD app would be so much fun! You’re my love. I’m glad you still love me after living through basically every moment of this “birth!” Love you forevs. #Tunnels

  28. Rob- The site looks great. So so very proud of you. You are a great wife and mother and love that you want to share the good and not so good and the ups and downs of parenting with such a great sense of humor. You make me laugh and sometimes I even cry tears of joy because you are so real in all of your feelings. Love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • All I know is that I love that your screen name is Grammy. It should be THE GRAMMY. In fact, at the Grammy’s this year they should give you a Grammy award for being such an amazing Grammy. You are both helping to raise them into the divas that they are and I could not be happier about the special relationship they have with you guys–(and also that I can put some of the blame on you if they turn out messed up). XOXOOX Thank you for being here!! XOXOXOX

  29. Holler! Here’s something real fun for you; I had to scroll A LOT of times to even get to this place to leave a comment! Now that’s progress baby! You write how you talk, how you are, you write YOU. And it’s awesome and fun and insightful and thought provoking and beautiful. Like you. Keep up the good work.

    • But you did the work, Vieds! You still left me a comment and you know how much I appreciate it. Love you all and I love that you’re still with me after all these years. Team Vieds forever. On the kick drum. Come come.

    • Um…who do think I called on last time? I still remember you talking me off the ledge when the haters found me. I was in Rite Aid buying a bunch of crap I didn’t need as you were explaining “what’s what” to me about the cyber world. I will never forget it. You are my Sista, in so many, many ways. Love you.

    • I’m happy you found me too!!! I hope you come back (or if you need something to binge read, there’s about 5 years worth of archived s**t to read on this site). Keep in touch and LMK what you think every once in awhile. So happy you’re here, Kim! 🙂

  32. Hi,
    I’ve always loved your blog and think you’re posts are hilarious!
    Your post today made me think of a book I just finished reading. It’s called, “So You’ve Been Publicly Shamed” by Ron Jonson. It’s about all the jerky people who pile on and leave hateful messages on post that they don’t like for various reasons. It was really interesting to see how a mob mentality can happen in cyberspace.
    Anyway, glad you didn’t let them stop you from writing and looking forward to your posts!

    • The mob mentality is pretty interesting. It allows others to let down their guard, especially if they are behind a screen. I love that you brought this up bc just this morning I played “Lose Yourself” (again) for the divas and explained to them (again) that they should not back down or give up for ANYONE if they believe in what they’re doing. And then we all rapped and danced around the kitchen and then they probably forgot it. (But hopefully not.) So happy you are here, Elizabeth. Thank you so much. I hope to hear from you again soon!!
      XOXO R

  33. Looks like you have a lot of love following you here. As a “Dumplings’ Mama,” I look forward to reading your blog. I just found you through Kay Bratt’s FB page.

  34. You are probably the funniest person there is and I love love reading your posts!!!! Congrats to you and I look forward to continue reading!! You are a beautiful person inside and out!!!

    • I’m so happy you are here, Cooper! Thank you and I hope you come back soon!! Love that you’re here. Means so much to me. 🙂
      XOXOXO

  35. Robyn, good good good for you. Writing is something more than the feedback– you do it even when you are pretty sure no one is reading because, well, you just kinda have to. Here’s a toast to taking a new, big step. Knowing who your ultimate audience is (your family, those who love you, those who enjoy what you share, your fun and witty observations) –that’s gold. Keep on writing! Love this. 🙂

    • Hazel!! Hazel in the HOUSE!!! I’m so happy to hear from you! Thank you for your very kind, (and always) insightful words. Nothing better than a comment from you! Let’s toast over cyber air and please know how grateful I am to have you as a reader. You have always been so special to me and if I ever get to meet you in real life I will hug you until you can’t breathe. XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO x 1 million billion
      R

  36. Yo, I need you to make it big so I can meet famous people!!! Love your stuff. Keep making me laugh.

    • I promise that I will always make you laugh even if this blog folds up like a poker hand in our apartment sophomore year (even though we played euchre, not poker–and by “WE” I don’t mean you! 🙂 Love you!

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