This past September, both of my girls started at new schools. “Sweet Pea” started kindergarten and “Lovey” started pre-school. These are big steps in their little lives. Who would have thought that out of the three of us, I would be the one having the hardest time?
I’m actually OK with Lovey going to pre-school. You would think that I would have trouble with her being gone every day because she is my baby and she is delicious—but oddly enough, I’m fine. It could be because it’s the same school that Sweet Pea went to and I’m totally dialed-in to their program or it could be because it’s a Jewish pre-school and with all the Jewish holidays in September and October, I don’t think my kid has been there for a full week since school started. (I can’t believe how many Jewish holidays there are. I have never even heard of some of them. I think some of them are made up.) Either way, I’m totally fine with pre-school.
It’s kindergarten that is kicking my ass.
Sweet Pea is taking the bus for the first time in her life and she is at a new school with new teachers, new times and new rules…LOTS of rules.
What do you mean I can’t come by every Monday and pull her out of class a little early so she can get to her hip hop class?
She’s in kindergarten now, you can’t do that.
Exactly. It’s kindergarten! Look…we all know that she’s probably the smartest one in the class—not because of anything we have done that’s so great, but because she is ASIAN. The other kids can’t compete with that. It’s not their fault. It’s just the way it is. Plus, it’s KIN-DER-GAR-TEN. What are they really doing in there? Is it THAT big of a deal if I pick her up early on Mondays?
Apparently, it is.
On top of that, here are some of the other things that are new to our lives since Sweet Pea started kindergarten:
1. Bus Pick Up: The bus comes every morning at exactly 8:32. “Mr. Al” is the bus driver. We have never been late for the bus. I am awesome at being on time for the bus. We leave every morning at 8:27 and we walk with Floyd Coden to the bus stop. It only took Sweet Pea 3 days to find a boyfriend with whom she sits every day, and it only took me 12 school days before I stopped tearing up as I watched her little wave grow smaller and smaller as the bus drove away.
2. Bus Drop Off: The bus drops Sweet Pea off every day at 4.30. I have been pretty good about pick-up. I was a minute late the other day and “Mr. Al” had a dirty look all saved up for me. I often wonder what would happen if one day the bus came and no one was there to pick up Sweet Pea. I guess she’d be screwed.
3. Send an empty/reusable water bottle every day. I’m assuming it should also be clean so that makes this one kind of a pain, but I still do it.
4. Send a nutritious snack every day. Also kind of a pain because by the time I’m done packing lunch, I’m sort of out of ideas for snacks.
5. Mondays are “Show and Tell.” I have only forgotten “Show and Tell” once. It was the time of the “Quacking Duck.” I sent it back the next day thinking the teacher would squeeze in Sweet Pea to show it, but she didn’t. She sent it home telling Sweet Pea that Monday was her day. I got schooled on that one. But that is the only time I forgot. I’ll take the hit. The second time though—Not my fault.
Here’s what happened:
Sweet Pea was supposed to bring two items to school. The first item was a “Show and Tell” item. Sweet Pea had a very cute collage all made up showing a bunch of toys she wanted from Toys “R” Us that I was never going to buy her. Perfect item to “Show” everything you want and “Tell” how you’re never going to get it.
The second item was supposed to be a universally known logo for an environmental piece they were doing in class. Easy breezy. Sweet Pea took a Henri Bendel shopping bag to use for her logo of choice.
I emailed Ms. S that day to check on how “Show and Tell” went. Ms. S told me that Sweet Pea didn’t do “Show and Tell.” She then went on to tell me that she didn’t have a “Show and Tell” item and, what’s more, she didn’t have her environmental logo.
Uh, I’m sorry. YES, SHE DID.
Ms. S and I emailed back and forth several times about both the missing “Show and Tell” item and the universally known logo item. Sweet Pea had one story for me and Ms. S had a conflicting story. During this Kindergarten Conundrum of 2012, I came to the following conclusions:
A) It’s never a good idea to tell your kid’s teacher that you’re not high maintenance because something will inevitably happen that will make you high maintenance.
B) The Henri Bendel logo is not universally known, but it should be.
C) I probably shouldn’t have gone back and forth with Ms. S as much as did. I couldn’t help it though. I was concerned about Sweet Pea lying to me, I was curious about the location of her “Toys R Us” project and—at the same time—I didn’t like Ms. S thinking that I sent my kid to school unprepared. I didn’t want her to think that I was a slacker mom (at least not this early in the school year).
My friend “Ashby” told me that if the teacher really thought Sweet Pea not doing “Show and Tell” was truly a problem, she would have gotten in touch with me. Oh, Ashby! So reasonable. I have backed off Ms. S as much as possible since this incident and I’m trying my best not to get in the way of her doing her job.
I wonder if she misses me?
6. Library Day. Every week the students get to go to the school media center for Library Day. They get to pick out one book and then we’re supposed to send it back on the next Library Day. I am proud to say that I have never ever screwed this one up. I have, however, had some issues with Number 7.
7. Find the library book somewhere in your house before Library Day.
8. “Bagel Day.” Fridays are bagel day and if you want, you can send your kid to school with .75 so he or she can buy a bagel. This is pretty self explanatory, but of course, I have questions: If I send Sweet Pea with money to get a bagel, does that count as her “nutritious snack?” Is it a GOOD bagel like Detroit or New York Bagel or is it some crappy imposter bagel like Einstein or Brueggers? I think these are legitimate questions as I’d like to know where my .75 is going.
9. Read or do something literary with your kid for 15-20 minutes every day. (This is on top of all the other homework she gets). This month, if we read with our kid every night, we get to color in the pumpkins on the “Nightly Reading Record Sheet.” Then, at the end of the month, we are to send that sheet back to school. I’m assuming that this is how Ms. S will conclude the following: If most of the pumpkins ARE colored in, and you truly DID read with your kid every night, you are a good parent. If most of the pumpkins ARE NOT colored in, you suck. If most of the pumpkins ARE colored in, but in reality you DIDN’T really read that much with your kid—you just colored a bunch of extra pumpkins—so you suck AND you’re a liar.
10. If you’re going to pick up your kid from school instead of having her ride the bus, you have to call or email the office and the teacher. That makes total sense. The thing is…there was this one day when I was totally planning on picking Sweet Pea up but it was a day or so before Yom Kippor (big holiday for the Jews) and I was having “Break The Fast” at my house. (Jews do “Break The Fast” after fasting all day. Fasting is how we repent for our sins, but I don’t fast because I think I’m a pretty good person)…Anyway, I got crazy busy setting up for all of our company and I thought to myself: What the hell, Sweet Pea can take the bus.
The thing is, I sort of forgot to inform the school that I was no longer picking Sweet Pea up and that she should instead take the bus… so there she was, sitting all alone in the office, waiting for me.
How many years of therapy am I looking at?
11. School ends at 3:50. On days that you pick up your kid instead of having her ride the bus, there are 3 kindergarten lines by the south set of doors at the school. The first time I went to pick Sweet Pea up, it didn’t go well.
Little Lovey and I got there at 3:45. On our way to the doors, one of the other kindergarten moms, who already had her kid with her, stopped to chat for a minute. (Looking back, I now know that if she had her kid, mine was probably ready too.) I thought I had a few minutes to spare, but when Lovey and I got the doors, they were locked and there were no kindergarteners or teachers in sight. I was a little annoyed because I wasn’t late, but whatever. Lovey and I walked to the main set of doors hoping to find her there. Nope. We then walked into the school, and some lady who worked there, let’s call her “School Lady,” told me to go to back to the Kindergarten doors to find Sweet Pea, so that’s where we went.
No Sweet Pea.
I was now starting to panic a little bit. I have no idea why. Of course, she was safe but for some reason, everything started spinning and I was starting to feel like the mom in EVERY Lifetime Movie. Where Is My Daughter!?!? Lovey and I then made our way back to the office and ran into School Lady again. School Lady said: “She wasn’t there?” Yes, School Lady, she was there. I just decided to leave her so I could check out your school. Nice digs. Bravo.
The lady in the office, “Office Lady” who knew me as the “mom-who-was-late-a-few-days- ago” told me to go back to the original doors but by this point I was all: “NO. Where is my daughter? I am done with your doors.” As Lovey and I walked out of the office, Office Lady got on the phone with Ms. S and the next thing I knew, Sweet Pea was walking over to me with her teacher.
I guess Ms. S took her back to the classroom because she thought I would look for her there…and I don’t know, she was saying some something but I wasn’t really listening because guess what I was doing? I WAS CRYING. Crying. Total breakdown right in the middle of the hall of my daughter’s school. Blubbering like an idiot. So now I’m not only high maintenance and unorganized, I’m also flat-out crazy. Ms. S felt so bad and School Lady was all “We would NEVER let anything happen to a child…” and there I was, sniffling and wiping my tears while both of my kids are looking at each other like “What the hell is going on with mommy?”
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I don’t know why I’m having such a hard time adjusting to Sweet Pea’s new school. Maybe I just miss her old school, a school where everyone knows us and we know everyone. A school that doesn’t require me to skim a checklist every morning before we leave. A school that is lined with a warm embrace and maternal hugs. I don’t know. All I know is that things change and kids grow. This is life and I need to step up or get run over. I’m getting better and better though, and every day I screw up a little less.
Now, if only I could find out where that missing “Show and Tell” item is.
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Thanks for the morning laughs… glad you are back!
You are good to me. I’m so happy you liked it. Thank you…XOXOXO
Don’t worry… you have tons of more years to “forget stuff.” 🙂 And, it only get’s worst because as our kids grow up we get older (that is my kind way of saying the forgetfulness really starts to kick in.) So as the daily rules, requirements and obligations may become less (on your part) and your kids start to learn to be more responsible on their own I have found my memory has seriously started to deteriorate. Sounds great doesn’t it? NOT! Thank g-d for modern technology. If it doesn’t get written on the list on the phone or emailed (to myself as a reminder) chances are pretty high that it will get lost (kinda like your “Show and Tell.”) We’ve missed your blogs! Hope to be hearing more from you soon! xoxo
Loving your comment. Thank you so much! It’s crazy how many lists I have going right now, you are so right. I don’t know how people do it with more than 2 kids. I think my head would start spinning around. So good to hear from you. Thank you so much for your comment and your loyalty. You are THE BEST.
Love it, and yes, it does get worse. soon there will be double the amount of shit to remember. and you wont remember it all. as for the lovey dovey school stuff; you can do what we do, and send them to private school, where they will be coddled and loved and walked hand in hand to your car if you want. Only problem is that when they get older, you need to break them of it at some point and send them on their way, because all the public school kids have been walking home by themselves (!) and making their own lunches….you are raising a resilient child Robyn and I love your humor!
Your comment is so fitting, Rachel, you have no idea. When I first mentioned to a friend that I was planning to pick Sweet Pea up early on Mondays for dance, my friend’s husband was all: “Um…this is public school, babe. You’re not paying anymore. You don’t get to just walk in and grab your kid whenever you feel like it.” You are so right about public vs private. I know our schools are good here so it would be silly for us to go private (plus we can’t afford it) but there are days…there are definitely days when I crave that warm environment. Love that you commented. You totally got it. So happy to have you as a reader. Thank you!!
I taught a K/1 class for many years and you don’t sound high maintenance at all. I had parents that were much more challenging. But even then, there was a reason for it. I knew no one was trying cause problems, they were doing the best they could. So was I! I’m sure no one thinks you’re flat out crazy 🙂
You’re so awesome, Liz. I have no idea how Ms. S feels about me but I guess that doesn’t really matter (well, maybe a little) but as long as she is good to Sweet Pea, that’s enough for me. I have totally backed off since the “Show and Tell” incident. Plus, she recently asked us to send in magazines for projects and since I get almost every fashion mag there is, I’m thinking she might even like me a bit now… 🙂 So happy you commented. Thank you so much.
We never had full day kindergarten here!! Do you have to pay extra for that??
Nope. This is the first year of full day Kindergarten without having to pay. Nice, right? We thought we were going to have to pay so it’s almost like we MADE MONEY! 🙂
You had me at the bagels!
HA HA HA HA!! I love you! You know how I feel about bagels that are the REAL DEAL vs the crappy imposters. Love it. Love you!!
Hilarious! Welcome back…I’ve missed you.
Oh, thank you Edwina! It always makes me so happy to hear from you. Thank you so much for sticking around!!! XOXOXO
Ohhhhh Robyn, i am so happy you are back, i have missed Dand D so much!!And i firmly believe that the Bendel logo is universal screw that teacher, we dont need her anymore…..enough said.
As we all know i have no children, but i totally laughed and cried alittle bit while reading this one, i totally felt for you.I thinkk you are a fabulous moom and you are doing an amazing job raising your kids, starting new schools and new things are hard.learning new ways and schedules are hard even now as adults, hell i cannot even decide what jewelry to wear on a daily basis.(sometimes there are tears invovled, i am pathetic, i know)
PLease dont go away for so long again~i love your blogs….and i didnt fast either!!!(i thinkim a really good person too!!!!Just kidding i fasted for like a week~(also pathetic) )
xxxk
I think I might be a little in love with you, Katie Zack. Is that weird???
I could have written this post.
I’m not sure…is that good…or bad? 🙂
LOVE your blog! And it does get easier! My beautiful daughter is 16 and driving to school! But Thank God she is very responsible! I remember those days and sometimes miss the grade school days. Middle school is the hardest. Your a great mom and your kids know it! Plus they are so darn cute! Love their clothes!!!
I love your comment so much that I have read it 6 times. You are so great. Thank you for the kind words and the insight. I loved every word you wrote and I appreciate it more than you know. (For real, I do).
You rock!
No…YOU ROCK. You always have my back and you always tell me what I need to hear (whether I want to or not). I am so lucky to have you in my life.
I loved this post. I am a first grade teacher and I try to make things easy for parents to figure out. As my boys begin preschool, I am starting to see that I may need to be clearer- because I am now on the other side of things. 🙂 I also have been teary eyed with some if the sweet things that the preschool has done with my boys. This has helped me see my students’ parents in a new light too. I am now wondering how it will be for my boys when they get to public school. It was nice hearing from you again.
Susan,
You have no idea how much your comment means to me. I do this blog so my kids will have something of me (and them) when they are older but the last thing I want to do is piss off a bunch of teachers. Please know my respect level for teachers is off the charts. Hardest job ever and I swear I’m not saying that just to be nice. I did it. I know how hard it is (and how the pay doesn’t reflect the job). I bet you are an amazing teacher because you can see both sides. That is so important. I could tell how annoying and high maintenance I was becoming for Ms. S because sometimes I have to deal with parents like that. If she had been a bit clearer from the get-go, I wouldn’t have had to keep getting in touch with her but it was early in the year and she is new at being a K teacher and I am new at being a K parent. It’s a process…I think I’m getting better. Thank you again and again. So thankful you’re a reader and that you took the time to comment.
nope, not weird at all.(smh….i get that a lot)im a cool cat.And in a totally non Kathy Bates in that creepy movie way i am your number 1 fan………(i promise not to break your feet)(OMG, i am seriously pathetic, ok i am going to bed now, sorry i am totally creepy)xxxk
Not creepy…hilarious. And thank you for promising not to break my feet. That would be very bad. Sweet Pea made me promise that the KZ bracelet would be hers one day. She totally sideswiped little Lovey on that one. Still need to meet up at Flash or Bendels one day! I will shoot you a note next time we go. 🙂
I feel pretty lame that I don’t know what the Bendel logo looks like. Actually I’d never even heard of them. But to my defense, I live in Alaska and we have nothing even to remotely resembling fashion up here. Seriously, I fixed a rip in my winter coat with duct tape and wore it like that for two years and no one even batted an eye. Probably because everyone else does that too. Yeesh, we’re pathetic 🙁
You are not lame at all. In fact, my friend and I were on a website just recently looking for shoes (for him, not me) and there was, I SWEAR TO YOU, a pair of shoes with duct tape on them for like 2000.00. We were dying. So, not only are you not pathetic but you are ahead of your time! Who knew, right? Thanks for weighing in. I love that you commented. You must think I’m the biggest snob. I’m really not (well, most of the time I’m not). I’m just going to stop typing now… 🙂
LOL Robyn, I can so relate! Kindergarten’s been an adjustment for us too! What happened to the teachers wanting to schmooze and chat with ME in the morning at drop off, wanting to know all about MY weekend and what’s new in MY world? So many new rules to get used too and so much less warm and fuzzy love (for ME). Grrrr….
Ericka!! I’m so happy to hear from you!! Thank you for commenting. I love that you “get it.” You are so good like that. I hope you guys are great and I miss you! Your comment made my whole day. I love that I still have you as a reader. Thank you again and again… OXO 🙂
oops for the mispelling of ‘too’. should read before i hit submit i suppose…
Hey Robyn!
Let’s raise a glass to kindergarten, which is such good new material for the blogs!:) And it’s ALWAYS good to read you! And Sweet Pea will turn out finer than fine. Just the fact that you are cool with her riding the bus is a good sign.
What you didn’t mention is the MOUNTAIN of paperwork that gets dumped on parents in that first few weeks of school. I am still at Base Camp on that mountain. When I get to the top, I will hang my prayer flags and leave a burnt offering… of my useless brain, having read all of the notices.
I so agree with Ericka’s comment. We came from Loving Hands/Cozy Hugs preschool and while I’m satisfied with Kiddo’s kindergarten teacher, I keep wanting a hug. Know I’m not gonna get it, but I’ll tell ya, I still want one.
I think that every kindergarten should have a Parent Triage Nurse, who will pass out tissues, give tips for how to keep track of library books, PE days (sneakers, non-marking shoes), field trips, PTA fundraisers, and advise us on all the lovely regression which goes on (for both the kids and us) that first two months. I’m not sure the education fund would pay for this, but maybe we could get some Older and Wiser Moms to volunteer to pour coffee, let us all wail and rend our garments at this new development in our lives, and tell us their own Horror Stories of Inept Parenting– and then show us pictures of their children, who are still alive and doing just fine. Just so we know we CAN’T screw it up that badly.
(Maybe, too, we could get in on a before-taxes matching program for our children’s Future Therapy Fund?)
Holding hands across the US– welcome to the Kindergarten Parent Club… now, pass me a martini, will you? 🙂
You’re so funny, Hazel. One of my friends has kids that go to a school where moms volunteer to work in the “nurses office.” I guess they pass out bandaids and such. I’m sure it’s nice for the kids to go there and see “Mommies.” Now if only we could get them to do that FOR THE MOMMIES, right?
Sweet Pea goes to an amazing school. It is state of the art, it is beautiful and it is stacked with the best teachers. I just don’t understand why it still seems to sterile to me. Sweet Pea loves it and I guess that’s all that matters. I’m hoping that I, too, will grow to love it the same way. I’m sure it just takes time. I never realized how resistant I am to change. …or maybe I never was, until this?
Who knows? Love hearing from you, as always. I’m so happy that you are still as whip smart as you always were. Love that. 🙂
ah….thank you for thinking my brain is bigger than it really is.
Oh, and Robyn– I’m PTA-allergic like you.
Is this a genetic problem? Could we be related?
(I found that volunteering in the library is a peach– two hours a week, lots of kids, and truly esoteric shelving systems which keep one busy. And that orderly Dewey Decimal system soothes my soul.)
Ha Ha Ha Ha!!!! PTA-Allergic. LOVE IT. I actually went to read to Sweet Pea’s class last week and I had a blast. I’m going to go back soon and talk about what I do for a living. I love being with the kids…I’m just PTA-allergic.
BTW-long live the Dewey Decimal System!!! 🙂
Robyn,
I love this post! I can relate to most of it! The other day, I emailed Paige’s teacher just to make sure she got to class…and I drive her every day!
Hope you are doing well!
Patti
OMG, Patti!! That is hilarious. I am dying right now. Only you…XOXOXO Miss you.
I shared your post with my mom who was a kindergarten teacher for 20 years. She retired last year and she was at a loss in September when she wasn’t going back…she’s adjusting to her “life of leisure” but when I had her read your blog she got all choked up…..she said she’d beg you to be her room mom…..missed your posts. Welcome back!
Ok, I have to tell you something and I’m dying to hear what your mom would think about this. Tell the truth, I can take it.
…A few days before school started I took Sweet Pea by the school for registration. We started walking around and got totally lucky because her teacher happened to be in the classroom. I was very nice but I said this to her: “I am always happy to help you with anything in the classroom that involves the kids. I love kids. I want no part of PTA stuff or stuff where I have to hang with parents. I know I sound mean but I don’t want to know any more people than I already know. Kids-yes. Parents-no.”
Who says that? She said that she understood but I kind of wonder what she thought of me. Will you ask your mom? Do you think I am horrible? I’m so happy that you commented but I bet you’re wishing you didn’t! Sorry!!! 🙁
Well according to mom you are not only normal but very smart! She thinks most parents feel the same way but are too nervous to say it. She does think you should back it up with a short note to the teacher with Thanksgiving on he way – usually lots of art projects, perhaps some cooking projects etc – great opportunities to involve parents.. this way she will know you really are willing. have fun!
I’m going to do that! Thank you, Shannon, and please extend my thanks to your mom as well. I actually went to Sweet Pea’s class today and read to the class. I will absolutely check in with the teacher to see if she needs me for anything. Thank you!!
I literally am laughing out loud because every single one of these has happened in our house. I just think you are amazing!! Xoxo
Can I tell you that now I am laughing out loud because I know you and I honestly believe that all of these things DID happen in your house. GET MY FUR! I love you…
I LOVE this one!! I’ve missed reading- so I’m so happy you’re back and entertaining me. Every mom has a similar story- don’t worry!! You are not alone…
Oh…you are so good to me!! Thank you for taking the time to comment and for making me feel better about things. You always do…I adore you!
All I can say is, literally next week, that kindergartner will be starting middle school and you will be a mess all over again. It was 100 times harder to let him walk into that huge school last year with 5 million other eye-rolling teenagers, because I know, and I remember, what THAT experience was like myself. I cried for him more those first few weeks than I ever did when he started Kindy. So did he. Not kidding.
I am pretty sure I did all of the things you listed, and worse. I was 9 months pregnant when my first son started school. I was one.hot.mess. Bless his heart, he’s thriving 8 years later, despite my best and continual efforts at screwing him up.
It goes by so fast. SO fast. I have this every-day longing to go back to when they were so tiny and so easy to take care of. Then I look over and that great big boy smiles at me, still with same dimple he had at 5, and I realize how sweet it is to see them grow up, and how blessed I am to be their Mom. That baby who was born waaaay back then, she is a 2nd grader this year and let me tell you, that is an independent little girl, which kills me. I mean, if you are the baby of the family, at least have the decency to PRETEND you need me!
I totally know what you mean, Heather. I wish I could just freeze time. Every night when I put my girls to bed, they both ask me to “lay with them” a little bit. We usually talk about their day the next day or who-knows-what. I just know that it’s all going by so fast so I try to drink it in while I can. I just want to freeze them though. I know the day is coming when they will no longer ask me to lay with them and that just kills me. I’m so glad you took the time to write me. I know exactly what you are saying in your comment, I truly do. It’s killing me too… 🙁