I recently walked into a conversation and one of the women was saying that the day she gave birth was the best day of her life. Well, it wasn’t for me. It sucked. I was in labor for 16 hours and the pain was unbearable. I have a pretty high tolerance for pain but at one point, I seriously thought I was going to die. I kept asking, begging, YELLING for an epidural but every nurse who came into my room told me that I’d have to wait until I was dialated to 4 cm. Screw you and your 4cm. Find a way to get me there. They did, but it took 8 hours. Eight hours of HELL.
The best day of my life? I think no.
Things didn’t get any better when the doctor told me that my baby was face-up, so continuing with my intended plan of giving birth vaginally was no longer a good idea. Really? You’re just figuring this out now? You never saw that on any of the ultrasounds, or whatever that test is called where you can see the baby? Did the baby just decide to do a back flip? Is she wearing a Speedo?
He decided I needed an emergency C-section. I wasn’t prepared for that. The thought of having an extended stay at the hospital did not thrill me. The idea of not being able to drive for 6 weeks thrilled me less, and I didn’t spend 13 years working on my abs only to have my stomach sliced open like a loaf of French bread.
When the extremely young nurse on duty at the time tried to get me to discuss why I was so adverse to a C-section, the conversation didn’t go well.
Nurse: Can I ask why you are so upset about having a C-section?
Me: No.
Nurse: What is it that is bothering you about it? You can talk to me.
Me: Um… You’re like twelve and We’re Not Friends. What the %$#!? Can someone get her away from me??
I don’t remember seeing much of that particular nurse after that (and I later bought her an “I’m sorry for being such a b**ch” present.)
Listen, I know the girls whose conversation I busted into (uninvited, by the way) weren‘t referring to memories of their labor pains when they fondly recalled “The best day of their life,” but still, I can think of much better days than the day I gave birth.
Like today.
My girls and I didn’t do anything special or out of the ordinary, but it was a good day.
We went out for lunch. My husband, Cody, even went with us. Then Cody left. That was dumb of him because we went for ice cream. I said I wouldn‘t get any, but I did. We shopped. I said I wouldn’t buy anything, but I did. My girls played in the dressing rooms, tried on scarves and hid between the racks. I found a new top and my 4-year-old “Sweet Pea” strangled herself with a necklace while my 2-year-old “Lovey” crapped her pants. I, for once, was actually prepared with a dipe and the correct amount of wipes!
We walked. Sweet Pea started complaining she was hot. I was prepared again! I had a change of clothes at the bottom of Lovey’s stroller and we dashed into the doorway of an antique shop and changed. Sweet Pea giggled the whole time because she was naked, outside. We walked to the park and the girls played on the slide. They owned that slide. I watched Sweet Pea go prison tough on some kid who mistakenly thought that he too might get a chance at the slide, and I didn’t even get up to diffuse the situation. Survival of the fittest, yo!
And also, I was too busy enjoying my day, and the fruits of my labor.
OK, I can’t take credit for Sweet Pea, I had no labor with her, a very brave woman in China went through that, but believe me, I’m forever grateful to her for being my pinch hitter and I thank her with every part of my being, because I know how truly horrible a day of birth can be. And I know how hard the road to adoption can be. But in the end, especially on those REAL good days, it sure is worth it.
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First half made me want to forever cross my legs, second half makes my womb hurt. xo
Perfectly said, Malkin. I don’t want to ruin that great line with something stupid.
I love it!!!!! Good for you for not getting up and letting the “girls”deal with it~
Thanks, Pat. My first instinct was to get involved but then I figured, hey–that kid is going to meet all kinds of girls like mine in his life, might as well let today be one of those days. 🙂
I used to tell my son about the best day of my life every night. Yep that was the day I had him. Even after 27 hours of labor and then an unplanned c-section it truly was the best day of my life. Obviously the surgery and pain wasn’t the best but seeing his face for the first time even with the butterfly bandage on his forehead where they had cut him when they cut me was a beautiful sight. Now that we have 2 more children the first daughter from S Korea and the second from China I have to include them in the “Best days of my life” stories :).
I love that, Andrea. I know that all three of those days were very different, and all three of those days were amazing. I’m so happy that I got to experience both birth and adoption. I feel very lucky–and I can tell that you do too.
I’m so happy that you commented. Thank you so much!! I hope you and your brood have a great day because they’re all good days. (Even the bad ones) 🙂
Syd was also face up ( after 2-1/2 hrs of pushing!) I was given the choice of c-section or forceps…. Um let’s just say I should have opted for c-section. Best day of my life? How can a mother describe something that is CLEARLY the most painful thing you’ve EVER been through YET the second you hold your child in your arms for that split second you do indeed forget the pain and possibly even declare ( at least I did ) that you would do it again right now! The best day of my life? How about the day that changed my life forever. The day that when I think about both of them still can me cry like a baby myself. One of the reasons I was put on this planet for. I thought I knew what love was… Then I gave birth to my two beautiful daughters. Thank you Robyn! Your gentle and hilarious reminders Come on the perfect day! Xo
No, thank YOU. This line is so awesome, I can’t even take it: “How about the day my life changed forever?” That is EXACTLY it. You hit the nail on the head. I will never forget that line and I’m stealing it from you. Try and stop me. 🙂
Thank you so much. You summed it up so perfectly. I’m so happy to have you as a reader. I learn so much…
I will not delight you with the details of my awesome homebirth, but I will say that I appreciate your satisfied perspective on your day with your kiddos. My son has croup and is laying on the couch and we’ve still had a pretty awesome day together. (Besides, the croup gives me another topic to blog on, and isn’t that what parenting is all about… finding more stuff to write about?)
It’s important to recognize those ‘in the moment’ good times, when nothing miraculous happens, but nothing crappy does either.
And yep, sometimes the guys miss out and ice cream happens without them. C’est la Vie!
Hazel,
I know what you’re saying. Sweet Pea was out sick all last week and I really enjoyed having her around. It’s all in the day to day. Even the bad days are good days.
Homebirth? Just when I thought I couldn’t respect you more…
How about the day that changed my life forever.
I absolutely love that line too and am going to borrow it 🙂
🙂
my favorite line… I laughed out loud “I found a top that I love, Sweet Pea strangled herself with a necklace and Lovey crapped her pants.”
Great day had by all.
you crack me up.
xox
Karyn
You’re the best, Karyn. I love that you caught that line. When I was in college, I used to write stupid BS stuff like that just to see if the professor was actually reading my paper. In this case, it was true, but you know what I mean. Thank you for reading and for commenting. I always get so happy when I hear from you!
i obviously cannot comment on the child birthing, sectioning part of this post, however i will comment on how fab the pics of the girls are.. you captured yet another great day on film!!! xoxoxoxo
Thanks, Gina!! I’m so happy that you commented. That means the world to me. Thank you!!